Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize