You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
