Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
