Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
