I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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