I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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