3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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