Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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