i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
