Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
