He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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