Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
