he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
