Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize