I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just found puke in my bra..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
