So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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