my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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