Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
