i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize