idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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