He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Alive.
So much puke
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
