Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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