Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
