I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
