fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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