So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
