My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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