I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
