You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
