just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
