How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
