nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
