I need help removing her.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
