I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
