I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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