So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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