I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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