this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
