You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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