I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
