I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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