I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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