I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
