The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize