YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
