Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
