I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
