so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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