I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
