Who wears a wallet chain?!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
