fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
where are you?
Hypothermia
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
