We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
