U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
