Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
