whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
