Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
