That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize