brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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