this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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