he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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