Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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