Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't turn off my feet"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
