She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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