i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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