But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
smell my finger.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
