Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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