Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
