Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
