My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
